From Dark To Light: Freedom From Addiction
- Christy Boulware
- Apr 16
- 8 min read
At the beginning of 2026, my dear friend Layla, who does mighty prayer sessions with me, asked if I had space that hour to meet with a woman who was deeply struggling with anxiety and depression.
The timing of her request aligned with my calendar, and when that happens, I know God is going to do something miraculous.
I took some time to walk and pray before they arrived, and I felt there were some deeper areas that were going to need prayer and attention.
Upon her arrival, Kelsey, was reserved, apprehensive, almost afraid of what was going to happen. I explained to her that Layla and I were like private investigators, shining flashlights into her dark basement to uncover where the devil had found ways to work through her life. She seemed to understand that analogy, and we got to work shining our flashlights.
I started with the question, “How was your childhood?”
She began to share that she grew up in a religious home marked by deep brokenness and inconsistency. There were serious wounds within her family that caused her to question what was real and what was merely outward appearance. In response to that pain, she began to rebel and turned to unhealthy coping patterns and sinful choices, which only deepened her guilt and shame. Addiction had a strong grip on her life.
As time went on, she wrestled with confusion, secrecy, and fear, and when some of those struggles were exposed, the responses she received only added to her pain. Instead of being led toward the heart of God, she came to believe the lie that she was too far gone, not truly saved, and that no matter how hard she tried, she would never be close enough to Him. From there, she lived with a deep fear about her salvation and whether she would ever truly belong to God.
Her faith was compromised. She had a block from being around godly people, church, worship, prayer, and even reading the Bible.
It was obvious that the kingdom of darkness had gotten comfortable in Kelsey’s soul.
I explained to her that unrepented sin and unforgiveness are huge ways the enemy can gain access to work in our lives. I asked her if she was willing to confess her sins and forgive those in her life who had wounded her.
Without hesitation, she said, “yes!”
So we began to support her and help her talk to Jesus about her sins and unforgiveness in her life. Through streams of tears, shaking, and what can only be classified as the power of the Holy Spirit leading her, she confessed her sins and walked in forgiveness. The chains began to fall off her.
After that, I began praying for the Holy Spirit to fill her, and during that time I received a very clear impression in my spirit. It was not audible, but it came suddenly and specifically enough that I knew I needed to pay attention. Even so, I felt hesitant to say anything because it seemed so unusual. With humility and caution, I shared what I felt I was sensing and made it clear that if it meant nothing, we could simply move on.
The moment I said it, her whole demeanor changed. It was obvious something deeply hidden had just been touched, and she became visibly shaken. I gently reassured her that she was loved, that she was safe, and that whatever needed to come into the light could be brought there without judgment. Through tears, fear, and deep hesitation, she began to communicate that there was a part of her story she had buried in secrecy and shame and had never planned to tell anyone.
We continued to respond with gentleness and compassion, reminding her that hidden shame is one of the enemy’s favorite tools, and that confession is often where freedom begins. In a deeply painful but holy moment, the truth was finally brought into the light. She confessed a traumatic and shame-filled experience from her past that had kept her bound for years. But instead of condemnation, she was met with love, prayer, repentance, and the covering grace of Jesus. You could feel the shift as the weight of secrecy began to lift. What had been hidden no longer had the same power once it was exposed to the light.
We prayed powerfully over her at that moment. We called out every work of the enemy and commanded it to go in the name of Jesus.
At last, peace returned. Her shaking stopped. Now she had tears of joy. She left that day much freer than when she arrived. We gave her a battle plan: staying connected to godly people and reading the Word. For a while after, she felt peace and freedom, but it was not long before obsessive, intrusive thoughts came rushing in.
We taught her how to take her thoughts captive. How to reject those thoughts and replace them with God’s truth. How to journal. But unfortunately, that was not the end of shining flashlights in her dark basement. There was still more to come.
Retreat Freedom
Kelsey showed up at our Fearless Unite A New You, A New Bright Light retreat in March of 2026. Some of the Fearless team had been working closely with her since our first prayer session, and we could clearly see she had backslid. But why was the bigger question.
The second day of the retreat, I taught on the three enemies of the soul: the devil, the flesh, and the world. During that part of the retreat, from mine and the team’s perspective, she was defiant, with her literal back to me. Unimpressed and not engaged with the message. I’m sure from her perspective she would say she was anxious, but our spiritual eyes saw something else. Whatever darkness was still working in her life was bothered, and I bet it even knew it was about to be exposed and expelled.
Some of my teammates, Shaunna and Layla, felt sick to their stomachs. They were sensing a level of darkness working in that room, attached to her spirit, that was making them alert in a way that kept them attuned to every move she made.
After my message, we prayed over the guests and asked the Holy Spirit to speak to anyone who needed to be baptized. There were several women called to baptism, and to our surprise, Kelsey was one of them.
She came up to the hot tub where we were baptizing, the last one. We had a large group of ladies watching to celebrate those publicly proclaiming their lives to Jesus. I knew deep in my soul this was going to be a wrestle with the kingdom of darkness, and I did not feel comfortable with everyone watching. I kindly asked the amazing ladies watching to leave, as this was going to be a private moment.
Those present were my prayer warrior friends and teammates. She was surrounded by five women of God who were ready to storm the gates of hell for her.
Shaking, with clenched hands over her mouth and not making eye contact with anyone, she got into the water. She confessed she had backslid. This time she was highly relying on her Xanax, teetering back and forth on the line of abusing that drug. Her mind was altered most days. The unwanted thoughts returned, and the pull to give in felt even stronger.
With each confession, you could see the power of darkness lose its foothold. At one point, my friend Kyler stepped front and center, grabbed her hands away from her mouth, almost as a sign of, “whatever is trying to block you from talking, I won’t have it,” and then began to prophetically minister to her in powerful ways.
That was an extraordinary moment for me, to see Kyler step into this fearlessness, because at the retreat the year before, we were in the hot tub with another baptism with a woman who was oppressed by the devil, and she dipped out. Not quite ready to do this type of ministry. Here we are a year later, and Kyler did not dip, she pressed in. This time fully an active player in partnering with our miracle-working God.
Through prayer and more questions, God led us to the possible answer. Could it be that she was not really saved? Now I realize only Jesus can determine if someone is saved, so I write this cautiously, understanding the weight of the words I am writing.
She proceeded to tell us that she still was deeply questioning her salvation. She had an intense fear that she was going to hell.
When she gave her life to Jesus as Lord many years ago, it was out of fear, not with a willing heart. It was more lip service, an act she did almost as an insurance policy not to go to hell. A check-the-box kind of thing. The only reason she did it was out of fear, not out of deep love for Jesus Christ. So was she saved and the enemy had a stronghold on her life, feeding her lies about her salvation? Or was she truly not saved? I do not know. I am not sure it is ours to know.
But what I did feel crystal clear about was for us to back up and share the Good News of Jesus Christ with her. The true Gospel. She listened, and through tears of joy, there was a new light forming in her eyes. We really focused on the fact that no works, deeds, or actions can make Jesus love you any more than He already does right now. We explained to her that her sins are truly forgiven. That He does not hold them over her head, which she really believed prior to this moment. We shared what Christ did on the cross for us so we could have eternal life. We explained that salvation is believing in your heart, confessing with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and turning from sin. That is how you are saved, and once you do that, there is no going back. You are saved. It felt like it all started to click for her. She believed it.
Then with that, we prayed over her, asked any evil working in her life to leave, and asked her if Jesus was Lord of her life, to which she smiled big, “YES HE IS.” Then in that moment, we baptized her in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
As if that was not glorious enough, she also turned in her Xanax, signifying that she no longer wanted to rely on or depend on it anymore. You see, she not only had a problem with Xanax, but with basically any type of pill she could get her hands on, like Adderall and Vicodin. She has been free from abusing them ever since.
The Aftermath
Kelsey belongs to our Walk With Me discipleship group. On Monday, April 13th, she approached me with a story. She showed me a tattoo on her forearm and said it means 4:20.
Unfortunately, her old connection to 4:20 had been a constant reminder of her past life and dependency on weed. She asked God, “Lord, can we make this about a Bible verse?” She was led to Philippians 4:20: “To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen.” Now that was something she could get behind. Now her tattoo carries an even deeper meaning. She said she felt like God was thinking of her before she was ever thinking of Him. How cool is that? That same night, I had her share with the Walk With Me family. We should never hold back on a testimony.
What makes this story even better is that Layla had the impression to go back and look at Kelsey’s baptism pictures to see what time she was baptized.
WOW! This picture was taken at 4:21 p.m.
Only God can take your past and rewrite your future.
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Kelsey’s story reminds us that darkness cannot hide when the light of Jesus breaks through. What once symbolized pain and addiction, God redeemed for His glory. That is the heart behind our Light Overcomes shirt. The front declares Light Overcomes, and the back boldly says Darkness Can’t Hide, because freedom begins when God brings what was hidden into the light. Purchase here.
Congratulations!! Kelsey!! You are now my Sister in Christ and the daughter of Jesus!! Embrace and enjoy your new life with Him. It is worth it!!