This week our family is entering into big transition years at school. I have my oldest child entering High School, my middle child entering Middle School and my baby entering Kindergarten! Talk about feeling emotional. These seem like big years and big changes for all three of my children and our family. As we walk into these changing seasons, my heart's desire is to help my children walk through this well even though my momma-heart is grieving and feeling emotional.
As I watched my kids prepare for their first days of Kindergarten, Middle school and High School, I wanted to hold on to summer and my time with them at home. As much as my kids drive me crazy, I really do enjoy our time together and love all the things we get to do together during the summer.
Watching them be excited and ready for school reminded me that I needed to join in their excitement and not allow my sad emotions to rub off on them. Now, I still took the time to cry and grieve what was but didn’t allow that to impact them. I also made it a point to talk about it with them and allow them the space to share how they were feeling too. I took the time to go on individual dates with each child to try to provide opportunities to hear their hearts and then to pray with them.
When I dropped my daughter off in her Kindergarten room and the teacher had them tell us bye, I began to have tears well up, I quickly left the room so I wouldn’t cry in front of her. What was awesome is when I left I was immediately greeted by another mom that hugged and comforted me, then I was able to do the same for her. After school my daughter told me she saw some water in my eyes. I reminded her that it is a big deal for mommas to leave their kids for a day in care of someone else and that I cry because I love and care for her so much and knew I would miss her while she was gone!
Our family recently went through a stockshow season where we show sheep at local shows/county fairs. We get our sheep in March when they are only a couple months old and then sell them in mid August.
We spend a lot of time with them; feeding twice a day, exercising daily, practicing showing, washing and caring for them. It’s a big responsibility and requires dedicated time throughout the summer. After we show them at the state fair we sell them. It is a tough time emotionally after we have become so attached to them but it’s a season that my family knows comes and goes. We are always very sad when we have to say goodbye to our sheep but also know it is a part of the season.
We remind our boys that it’s ok to feel sadness and cry as we say goodbye to an animal we were attached to. We know that season is coming to an end and look forward to the next show season. Seasons come and seasons go, there is a time for everything. Look at what Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says about seasons.
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
There are seasons that come and go throughout our lives. Just as summer ends and fall begins, we have no control over these changing seasons. What we do have control over is how we deal with those changing seasons. How are we going to embrace and endure those seasons? In the midst of the changes, how is our attitude?
I recently got to watch my dear friend walk through a difficult season of releasing her precious daughter to college several hours away. Her daughter was very prepared and ready for college and will do exceptionally well. The pain of allowing a child that you love and enjoy being around and have raised under your roof for 17 years was extremely hard on my friend. Here is a powerful statement from my friend during this experience, “Joy/happiness and sadness for what was and the new season can be in the same place. Deep excitement and joy but also loss and sadness for a new chapter that really did come too quickly”. Isn’t that a powerful statement!
I love how God’s word always has insight to help us through these seasons. Deuteronomy 32:11 says, “Like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft.” Eagles encourage independence in their young by stirring up the nest to push them to learn to fly. We are supposed to do the same with our young. Gradually, throughout the seasons allow them to fly for themselves. To stir up the nest and push them to do things on their own. Just like eagles do for their young, we are called to gradually push our kids out of our nest at home so they are prepared to fly when they move out on their own. Oh so hard but a necessary healthy part of life that allows us to grow and move towards being more and more like Christ. Am I gradually pushing my kids out of the nest and helping them learn to fly but offering them opportunities to do things and make appropriate age decisions on their own?
What do we do to help us in these changing seasons? We have to realize there is a reason for seasons and recognize God has given them to us to grow us. We get a choice to make with what we do in these times of change. We can ask God what it is he is wanting us and our kids to learn. Then we pray, pray, pray!! God has called us to intercede for our kids and teach our kids to pray too. He hears our prayers and cares for our hearts.
1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 John 5:14 - This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
Philippians 4:6-7 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Instead of being anxious and worried about our kids as they move into new seasons, we are called to pray for them and with them. Then according to the verse above in Phillipians, look what happens when we pray, the peace of God will guard your heart and mind!
Today, as I worry about my kids walking into new huge schools I am praying for protection over the schools. As I worry about friendships, I am praying that they would let their light shine and be a Godly friend to those they are around. As I worry about them finding their classes, I’m praying God would be a light unto their path and they would seek Him in all they do. I’m praying for their teachers and administrators and others that help make it possible for them to go to school. As I sit and eat lunch without them, I am praying they are able to sit and be an encouragement to someone that needs a friend at lunch.
Taking the time today to pray continually for them throughout the day. As I pray I’m entrusting them to God, their Creator and Father that cares for them even more than I do! With that prayer the peace of God begins to overcome my heart and mind.
If you are looking for some encouragement in your motherhood journey join us for Fearless Moms at one of the upcoming meetings: